I haven't read the other 129 comments, but my immediate thought is you need help. Babies sense negative energy and the fact you verbalize your hatred for him scares me enormously. Please give him a chance to survive an already challenging world - without perceived resentment and dishonor of his existence. You wrote this article, clearly for help and direction. Owe it to your son to follow through. He is an innocent bystander in your despair. I am not taking anything away from yours, but please consider your helpless and dependent child